The Dad Complex 2: Every cloud…

Yesterday was one of those rare days when the Cub was a bit of a Daddy’s boy. Obviously I loved it. It came at a bit of a cost though… he was a bit under the weather. Is it wrong of me to enjoy his misery because I get me some love and attention and lots more cuddles than usual? Or should I simply wish him to be better all the time and satisfy myself with the odd cuddle I get at bedtime and when I leave for work?

We had cuddles in bed in the morning. We could tell he was a bit under the weather because he’d kept us awake through the night (we were all sleeping in the same room as we were staying at our BFFs) and he came into bed with us and just sat quietly. No wriggles. No kidding about. Just cuddled up and we watched the F1 and a bit of Rastamouse.

We went out for the afternoon, to a little town called Hebden Bridge, where we were going to have lunch and feed the ducks. Lunch was at The White Lion and took a little while to come. NJ and his cousin, understandably, got a little tetchy. NJ being tired got very whiney and cried quite a bit, but came to me for comfort. We went for a walk to look at the beautiful open fire and waved in to everyone through the window from outside. At the end of dinner he got upset again and looked at me and said, “I want to sit on daddy’s knee”, through teary eyes, remembering that I’d offered him a spot earlier on. We had a lovely cuddle to finish lunch off.

Feeding the ducks was next, starting off in his buggy and then getting out and standing with me whilst we threw the bread to the ducks and geese on the river.

Tea was at my in-law’s and for once he was happy sitting on daddy’s knee after we’d eaten, being entertained with a game on our tablet whilst snuggling in. I rarely get a look in when we’re at Grandma and Granddads house.

Then it was off to bed, all tired and snuggly, but still chatting to himself 2 hours later!

So the Dad Complex became even more complicated, as I want him to be happy and well. I also want him to give me cuddles and come to me when he wants comforting. If I had to choose one, and only one, that I could have for the rest of for ever? I want him well and happy don’t I. But taking this little bit of happiness in having cuddles and attention whilst he’s not feeling his best doesn’t make me a bad dad does it? As long as it doesn’t happen too often! My time will come.

Complicated this dad thing, isn’t it!
But the rewards of working it out and being patient are worth every second.


Great result for Father and Son chat #1

NJ goes to a nursery, for one day a week, that is based on campus at my wife’s place of work.
When he turned two he moved up in to a new room there, with bigger kids and different staff and no doubt a different routine. Every time she’s dropped him off, since he moved up, he’s cried and screamed and refused to go in, resulting in Helen having to take him in to his old room to start with and then the staff coaxing him across as the morning progresses.

On a Wednesday, the day he goes to nursery, I always get him up dressed and fed, so that it’s not as much of a stress for Helen.

Today we went downstairs as usual and had our breakfast as father and son. (Weetabix with honey for him, a mushroom omelette for me if your interested).
I talked to him today about nursery.
Was he going to go straight in to his room like a big boy, with no crying?
He’d be able to play with the toys he likes wouldn’t he?
Mummy will see what a big boy he is when she drops him off with no crying won’t she?
All of which resulted in positive responses from him over his Weetabix.

As I left for work, we had our customary kiss and cuddle and, along with my usual “See you later, Love you” to him, I threw in a “Have a good day at nursery won’t you”, to which the reply was, “Yeeess! See you later Daddy”

My text from Helen, later on in the morning, said “Whatever you said to NJ this morning must have worked because he just went straight into his new room. No fuss x”


Now I’m not sure if it really was our Father/Son chat over breakfast, or if it was just the planets aligning accordingly today.
I’m taking credit anyway!